


Weakness

by mansikka



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean is Bad at Feelings, Established Relationship, Fluff, Human Castiel, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 02:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5893990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mansikka/pseuds/mansikka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is an idiot and hurts Cas' feelings, then goes does his best to make it up to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weakness

Dean Winchester was the most macho of macho men in a macho, macho world. Except for when he wasn't.

There was nothing macho about him when he found a bee air freshener at a service station and bought it for Cas.

There was not a thing macho about when he got sick and lay sprawled across Cas, arms draped around him like an extremely clingy octopus whilst snuffling into his neck, croaking for him not to leave.

And there was, without a doubt, nothing macho at all about buying the washing detergent that Cas said he liked the smell of best so he could watch as Cas pulled on a sweater, bunched up the cuff and inhaled strongly before rewarding Dean with a grateful smile.

Come to think of it. Nothing he did with, or for, or because of Cas, could be confused with being macho.

Cas was his weak spot.

But that didn't mean he couldn't flex his macho muscle when he needed to. Like when an incredibly attractive man lingered too long beside Cas as he ordered coffee and Dean seethed from the booth, bristling away from Cas when he came to slide in beside him. Or when Dean had, accidentally in front of Sam, told Cas that he hadn't ever slept as well as when he’d had him in bed beside him, he’d had to flex that macho-ness hard and wink at every woman within a five mile radius just to prove something to himself.

Cas knew. And he was fine with this. And if he wasn't fine with it, well, he would go on acting like he was fine with it. Because he could do that, for Dean.

Dean, of course, saw straight through it, every time. His heart cracked a little and he tore himself a new strip every single time his own insecurities meant him doing or saying something that hurt Cas.

It was a vicious cycle.

Because then he’d spend even more time when they were alone making up for whatever he’d overcompensated for earlier.

Today was no different.

Sam was talking to a witness in the small unassuming medical center that was central to the town they were currently hunting in. Dean and Cas, who had finished their own research, were sitting beside one another on possibly the smallest two-person bench in the history of two-person benches. No personal space was possible, and they were flush against one another from knee to shoulder. Neither objected. But Cas was tired, and when Cas got tired, he leaned. He flopped. He found places to lay his head, in private or public places. He didn't care.

Dean should have noticed Cas flagging. He should have known from the droop of Cas’ eyelids since he was watching him out of the corner of his eye anyway. He should have heard the soft sighs he was used to hearing as Cas settled to sleep.

He most certainly should not have jumped six feet in the air like he had been burnt when Cas’ head finally fell on his shoulder.

Dean began to pace backwards and forwards in the medical center where they waited for Sam, his face pinched in anger. He sneaked a glance back at Cas, who had sat up abruptly, blinking his eyes. For a moment his emotions were unchecked and screaming hurt. Then the mask went up and his face became indifferent.

Dean knew that face well, since he’d put it there so many times. His heart lurched but his head did what it always did. It let the voice of his upbringing tell him to man up.

Which is how he found himself leaning down over the reception desk, flirting with the nurse stationed there. He wasn't even in the slightest bit interested, but you have to do what you have to do, right?

Right.

Which is why his heart beat out in protest at the look on Cas’ face now. There was hurt, and there was hurt.

Dean watched as it took longer than normal for Cas to gather himself together, then stand stiffly and leave without a word.

He sighed the heaviest of sighs, dropped his head, and turned away from the nurse mid her flirtatious invitation. Followed Cas outside. Stood awkwardly beside the car as Cas leaned against the back door, arms folded, eyes closed.

“You know Cas,” he began but stopped the second Cas’ hand snapped up.

“Don’t.”

“But-”

“I don’t want to hear it.”

So they stood, awkwardly waiting for Sam to return.

When Sam did arrive, he took in that awkwardness between them and rolled his eyes, throwing himself into the passenger seat without so much as a ‘hi’.

Two more car doors opened and shut softly, and the only noise to be heard was Baby coming to life.

***

When they arrived at the motel room, Cas threw himself down on the sofa and turned his back to the room. Dean stood hovering, hands flexing as though he wanted to reach out. He looked to Sam who just widened his eyes and shook his head as though to say ‘you’re on your own with this one’.

Dean slumped to the foot of the bed, head in his hands.

This was getting too old. Cas did not deserve his insecurities.

***

Cas woke to the sound of the door closing and nondescript TV. He rubbed his hand over his eyes and turned stiffly, surprised enough to jump a little when he realised Dean was standing over him reaching his hand out.

“Hey, Cas. Got you a coffee. With that caramel syrup you like.” Dean held out his peace offering with an uncertain smile. Cas eyed the cup in his hand and reached out, avoiding brushing his fingers against Dean’s own.

“Thank you.”

“Wanna grab something to eat soon?”

Cas took a sip of his coffee, savouring the taste of the caramel but carefully doing his best not to show his approval. “We have to eat.”

“Yeah, we do.”

“Okay.”

“Cas…” Dean said, nudging his knee against him to move him enough so he could sit down. “I'm an idiot. You know that. I didn't mean to-”

Again Dean’s words are stopped with a flick of Cas’ wrist to indicate his dismissal.

“I understand.”

“Well I don’t,” Dean blurted out, leaning into him. “I don’t understand why I keep having these stupid knee-jerk reactions to this...stuff,” he waved his hand vaguely between them. “Not,” he added, leaning in close so that he could feel Cas’ warmth against him, “When you’re the only thing that makes sense to me. Even when it doesn't make sense.”

Cas frowned at that, continuing to sip at his coffee. “You do not make any sense,” he mumbled grumpily, sighing as he felt himself lean into the arm that Dean had thrown around him.

Dean cupped his hand around Cas’ face and gently pulled it towards him, eyes seeking forgiveness. Even if he knew he didn't deserve it.

Cas huffed, and Dean took that as a sign to lean in for a kiss. His hand worked its way round to the back of Cas’ head, fingers deep in his hair. Cas reached out his free hand to rest against Dean’s chest, fingers tapping there.

When Sam banged open the bathroom door, Cas froze, expecting Dean to pull away as he always did.

Dean just kept on kissing him.

Sam had the good grace to pretend not to notice.

***

When they headed out, Dean flicked a glance at Sam, silently asking him to sit in the back. At Sam’s nod, Dean put a hand on Cas’ lower back, guiding him towards the front of the car. Cas stood confused, as Dean held the door open for him with an embarrassed half-smile.

When Dean climbed in next to him, he wrapped his fingers in Cas’ in silence, giving his hand a soft squeeze.

And when they climbed out of the car and headed towards the restaurant, Dean threaded his fingers through Cas’ once more so that they could walk in together, hand in hand.

They sat side by side in the restaurant, Dean’s arm casually thrown around Cas’ shoulders whilst they ordered and waited for their drinks. He kissed the side of Cas’ head as the waitress brought their beers over, eyes never moving from Cas’ face as he thanked her.

Sam caught his eyes just once; Dean’s look said back off, and deal with it, and get used to it.

When they left the restaurant, Dean asked Sam if he minded getting his own motel room.

***

Dean tried harder from then on. Whilst on a case they kept it strictly professional, but the second they weren't, Dean relaxed and reached for Cas. It wasn't always smooth sailing; Dean still found himself flinching unnecessarily from time to time, voices from his past conflicting with what he really wanted.

And maybe they weren't all over each other in public like a pair of lovesick teenagers, but they were very obviously together.

And that’s what mattered.


End file.
